Even though all of Ukraine’s energies are now focused on bringing victory, the end of the war will bring a huge wave of pain. We will live side by side with widows, orphans, physically and mentally wounded soldiers, and people who have lost their homes forever. The trauma from this unprovoked Russian aggression will remain with us forever.
In order to expel the Russian invaders from Ukrainian land and defend our independence, we are losing what is most valuable to us - our people. Unfortunately, not all the defenders of Ukraine will return home to their families, loved ones, and friends. Many warriors are no longer with us while this great war continues.
We've collected the stories of three women who were widowed by the full-scale Russian invasion. And although their grief will never go away, these women find the strength to keep going in their strong desire for revenge and the promise to carry on the memories of their brave husbands forever.
Her husband, Artem Hurtovyi, died in Lysychansk, Luhansk Oblast. A Russian shell hit the plant where he was on duty.
Artem and Daria studied together at the university in Starobilsk, Luhansk Region. Daria participated in various youth activities, and Artem was a volunteer and helped the Ukrainian Armed Forces (even before Russia's full-scale invasion in February 2022). The couple met and fell in love thanks to their activism.
"He charmed me with his respect for me as a woman. He treated me very sensitively, and carried me in his arms. It was just like in the movies," Daria recalls.
On August 27, 2020, Artem and Daria got married, and on February 20, 2021, they had twins - Myroslava and Emilia. A year later, the family celebrated the girls' birthday. Artem took leave for this time to spend more time with his family, and then go on vacation. But on February 22, he received a call from his military command and was urgently called to duty. He was given 2 days to prepare.
On the morning of the full-scale invasion, Daria's mother woke Artem up, telling him, "Tyomchik, get up, the war has started!" He immediately got up. He started getting calls and calling people. His guys were already there, and they had already taken fire.
When Daria hugged Artem for the last time, she begged him to stay. But he said: "No. You don't understand. If I stay now, our future is only Russia. How will I look the girls in the eyes if I stay?"
In early March, the City of Starobilsk, where Daria lived with her children, was occupied by Russians. Enemy soldiers began to detain and interrogate locals. As the wife of a border guard, it was dangerous for Daria to stay in the city. However, it was also frightening to leave, because the Russians fired upon evacuation buses.
Daria and Artem talked whenever possible. There was often poor connection where he was serving. Artem insisted that Daria and all their family members leave Starobilsk. He was ready to pay any price for it.
On May 8, Artem had his 26th birthday. There was no contact with him, so no one was able to call to congratulate him. But on May 9 he called Daria himself. Surprisingly, the connection that time was very good. Daria was able to see the face of her beloved as clearly as she had ever seen in three months of war.
Artem told his wife that he was now in Lysychansk and promised to call the next day. But the next day, it was not Artem who called Daria, but an employee of the border service. Daria immediately realized what had happened: her husband had been killed.
Artem was buried on May 20 in Dnipro at the Krasnopilske Cemetery. Daria was not able to come to the funeral. She was not able to leave for Ukrainian-controlled territory until June 20.
Daria and her children could not leave the occupation zone for a very long time, as she wanted to reach free Ukraine, though not via Russia. She wanted to take all her husband's awards and medals with her, so it would be too dangerous to pass through Russian checkpoints, as they searched everyone.
Although Daria's path was difficult and risky, she still reached Kharkiv. Then she immediately went to Dnipro and visited her husband's grave. Daria moved from Dnipro to Rivne Oblast. At the moment, it is too difficult for her to live in the city where her husband is buried.
"The children were left without their father. I want them to know what their dad was like when they get older. What a friend, companion, and defender he was. I will do everything to make girls proud to say their last name," says Daria.
Artem Hurtovyi dreamed that his daughters Emilia and Myroslava would live in Ukraine, speak Ukrainian, and love their country. Daria has promised to fulfill her husband's wish.
But the war took from her the most valuable thing - love.
Alla was in a relationship with paratrooper Yevhenii Bazilevsky, who fought near Bakhmut, Donetsk Oblast. On December 17, he was killed by a Russian shell. He was 27 years old. After the death of her beloved, Alla began keeping a public diary on her social media.
"The shrapnel flew right into your head, pierced your lung, and shattered your leg. As you said, bullets don't like you. But shrapnel and mines are following you. I won't believe in your death until I see it with my own eyes. As I go to take your body, there is still a lingering hope that it is some misunderstanding. That you in fact survived. No matter what Yehorka (the company commander) saw, he could be wrong," Alla wrote on the way to the Dnipro, where Yevhenii's body was taken.
I want to see you, take your hand and not let it go for a long time. To kiss your fingers, as you always kissed me. To hug the chest in which the heart beat so rhythmically when I hugged you for the last time. I have never cried in front of you. Sorry, I'm going to break my promise. But I still hope you're alive.
On December 13, Alla spoke to Yevhenii for the last time. Then they couldn't contact each other because he was on a combat mission. On December 17, he was killed in the line of duty.
"On December 13, I wrote to you that I really want to hug you. You said you did, too, but you had to take a shower first. In war, there are no showers, only wet wipes. You didn't see that message, but I wrote that I loved you even smelly and unwashed. That's how I'll see you today: bloody, dirty and mutilated. But I love you anyway," Alla wrote on Facebook. Alla understood that her beloved had indeed been killed when she came to the morgue. A bodyguard held her in one hand so that she wouldn't faint, while with the other she stroked Yevhenii's cold body. "You're as handsome as always. Your head seems to be intact. But there are a lot of holes in your chest."
Alla wanted to hold Yevhenii's hand during the entire journey from Dnipro to Kyiv, but it was impossible because his body had to be kept refrigerated.
The last time Yevhenii visited Alla, they saw two cats and kittens near a store. "Look, a small family of cats. Just like us, a small family", Yevhenii said to Alla as he hugged her.
Alla dreamed of celebrating Christmas with her boyfriend, because Christmas is a family holiday. But their small family was destroyed by a tank shell. "That day I died with you," Alla wrote.
10 days after Yevhenii's death, Alla finally came to accept the inevitable. She understood that no matter what she did, it wouldn't bring her beloved back. Now she wants only two things: to send as many of those responsible for his death as possible to hell, and to continue his memory forever.
Nadiya and her husband met in 2015 at military courses. Then they worked as paramedics. In 2018, Nadiya's husband was offered a job as a software developer in France, and the couple moved to Marseille.
Last year, they had a son. But Nadiya's husband always said that there would be a big war and was preparing for it. He was a warrior in spirit. Nadiya could not stop him, so she let him go. He was a platoon commander of a separate rifle regiment and was killed in the Kharkiv Oblast.
Nadiya said she doesn't feel like herself anymore. Her body does not fully belong to her. She either doesn't eat or eats too much. The taste of the food is lean and bland. Periodically, she catches herself thinking that she's eating what her husband loved.
She said she's "heavy" and "woolly", like a clumsy toy stuffed with straw. It's hard for her to move her legs, sometimes she can't hold things in her hands. Even the phone feels too heavy.
She's still young. But she doesn't feel beautiful anymore. She can no longer agree with herself about her external flaws, now she only sees them. She said she can't be beautiful anymore. Not because she doesn't want to. She doesn't have the strength for it.
She's like a torn and faded pumpkin left alone in the field. Maybe not completely alone, because there are enough torn pumpkins in the field, she's not the only one who will never hug her husband again.
Her son is growing up so fast and his dad doesn't see it anymore. He is growing and Nadiya doesn't have enough resources to give him the attention he needs right now. People clap her shoulder, say words of support and gratitude. Time is running out. There are fewer people and in the end she's alone in a dark, empty apartment. Everyone goes to their families, but she no longer has one.
Sometimes Nadiya forgets that her husband died and lives the way she lived before, in calm worry. But reality still insists. It will never be the same again. No one will ever take away her sorrow, sadness, uncertainty, bitterness, and anger.
She said she'll never forget who did this. Who stole her dreams, gutted her happiness, destroyed her life.
The only thing Nadiya really wants now is for the bullets of our soldiers to reach the bodies of the enemy, for the artillery to hit even more precisely, for the enemy to be destroyed without pity and pain, without compassion and remorse.
She wants Russia to not exist anymore. And no one will do this except the Ukrainian military. "Yes, at the cost of our own lives, yes, at the cost of our widowhood, yes, at the cost of the postponed happy future of our children. We will restore everything after victory, we will restore ourselves. We will grow a nation again. As our mothers and grandmothers did for centuries before us."
This article is produced within the project «EU Emergency Support 4 Civil Society», implemented by ISAR Ednannia with the financial support of the European Union. Its contents are the sole responsibility of Internews Ukraine and do not necessarily reflect the views of the European Union.
